2 Years Ago...

...we were all sitting around the table having dinner. I was kind of in a rush because My Sweetie and I had a Church Council meeting. I needed to get everyone fed, food cleaned up and everyone out the door and our our way to Church. Meeting nights when we BOTH have meetings can be a little stressful...especially when they are on school nights.

The Boy who was sitting across from me at the table asked for the MILLIONTH time about when his friend who was in town visiting was going to be able to come and play. The Boy's friend had come into town with his family. His dad is in music ministry and had done a performance the night before, Mother's Day. I had thought about going, but I just didn't feel up to if for whatever reason. I can't even really remember what we had done that Mother's Day.

The Boy's friend and his siblings were being left with a family, 2 Pastors from our parish and their daughters, while their parents went on a much deserved vacation together.

So after the MILLIONTH inquiry about the where and when their much anticipated play date was going to be, I kind of snipped at The Boy telling him I would talk to our Pastor friend who I would see the next day at Bible Study.

Fast forward to the beginning of our Council meeting. Just after the devotion and just before the prayer our Pastor asked for us to keep a family in our prayers who had lost a child. He didn't give us any other details because there were still people who did not know of the loss. He told us it wasn't anyone from our congregation, but a family we all knew. I thought nothing else of this after.

Fast forward to the next day, the 15th. I arrived to my Tuesday Bible Study to see my Pastor and his wife rather than the other Pastor who typically led our study. After we had all arrived, he told us that The Boy's friend had been killed the day before in an accident with a horse at our Bible Study Pastor's home where he and his siblings were staying. I remember 3 of us all reacting the exact same way with an audible gasp and our hands brought up to cusp our nose and mouth. My stomach sank, my heart ached.

He didn't have very many details for us. I couldn't even imagine what or how I was going to be able to tell The Boy. Much of the rest of the day I was an emotional mess.

We learned that they were holding a memorial service later that day. My Hubby went to school and picked up The Boy and told him what had happened to his friend. We took BuhBuh to a grandparents house and took The Boy and Little Dude, who wasn't even a month old yet, with us to the service.

There aren't words to describe the service. The dad, a worship leader and music minister lead the service. It was probably the saddest thing I've ever experienced in my life to date. I was sad for the family. Sad for their loss. Sad for the family who was caring for the child and had held his hand as he died. Just sad as watched the the father stand over his son's body and played his guitar and sang the song he had written about his son a couple of years ago. Then we heard his father, the one who watched his son come into the world, say the final committal prayer of the body.

The other part that was almost a little eerie to both My Hubby and I was that as we listened to the father speak of his son, just how alike and how much in common our son had with his friend. I remember during their visits and times together how grateful and thankful I was that they had met and become friends. I remember the time he spent in our home and at church with us. I remember and how much I loved listening to him speak with his Australian accent.

To this day The Boy still can't listen to one particular song that we sang during the service. I can listen to it, but I think of him every time. Whenever I hear the song I can hear his youngest sibling singing it at the top of his lungs through his sobs.

If anything, the death of this amazing young man reminds me of just how fragile and precious life is. It reminds me that sometimes tragic accidents happen to good people. I am certain that his death was not part of God's plans. Sometimes accidents just happen. (But I do believe God can work in us to use tragic events to continue to do His work which He has done for the families involved) It also reminds me of how important it is to live in the moment and to love our children and spouses and families for who they are and where they are in their lives because you just....never...know.

It is my prayer that someday, The Boy will be able to listen to the song we sang at the service without having to leave the room because it is just too painful for him. I hope he is able to listen to the song and think of his friend and smile at all the good things he was able to do in his short life; I hope he is able to listen to the song and recognize that the reason the parents chose the song was because God is still lovely, worthy and wonderful even in the midst of tragedy and will continue to be so even in eternity where the boys will one day play again.

Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness.
Opened my eyes, let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You

Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days
oh, so highly exalted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly You came
To the earth You created
All for love's sake became poor

Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me

I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost

Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me