Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Off to Camp

This is where I dropped my first born child off on Sunday. YUP! This is where he'll be sleeping until Friday. GULP!! My Sweetie told me that it doesn't "look as bad" in the picture.

He's at church camp. This is his first time going. This is a HUGE step for me. He's never even stayed the night at a friends house and I left him to sleep on the floor (no beds!) of this...THING.....up in the air 2 1/2 hours away from home? What was I thinking???

When we drove him back to his treehouse his counselor came up and shook my hand and introduced himself. I could barely spit my name out because I was choking back tears. We got him all situated and then went up to the main hall where they were all meeting. He was anxious to get rid of us!!! Can you believe that?? LOL!

I was very proud of myself for not sobbing the entire ride home. I felt a lot better after talking a bit to one of our Parish Pastors who will be staying the week. Our parish intern is also there and there is a girl from our church that is in his group.

I think the hardest thing is not being able to TALK to him! They have a one-way email system set up so I can write to him but he can't write back. Later this evening they are suppose to post pictures on the webpage so we can see what they've been doing. I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing his smiling face.

Like I said, this is a big mommy step for me. BUT, I trust God that all is well.....I'm not worried about him at all.....I just miss him. I'm glad that he is able and enthusiastic about this opportunity. I never went to church camp, or any other sort of camp for that matter. My Sweetie went to church camp and assures me that he will have a BLAST! I know that he will too. Perhaps he'll learn something too!

I have been thinking and praying about him a lot this week. I feel like My Sweetie and I can be too hard on him sometimes. I feel like maybe we expect too much out of him for the age that he is. I feel like I can be short with him when all he is looking for is some attention. I feel like I don't give him the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

I need to remember that he is a kid and needs to be able to enjoy being a kid. I need to remember that the best way to teach him is through my good example and to not be too hard on him when he does make mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn and as long as no one got hurt a gentle reminder should be all it takes. Now I'm not saying discipline is never needed, just the way we discipline doesn't have to be so negative all the time.

He's going to be 10 this year. Getting into that pre-teen age group. Lord, Help me! I pray that he'll have a love for Jesus at an earlier age than I did. I pray that through my teaching and example that he can. I pray that he will always to do his best in school and no matter what that is to be proud of him. I pray that we can have a loving, trusting, open relationship and that he knows that God and his parents are who he should turn to when he has questions about life or fears and worries to express.

I tell him the reason he is so special to me is because he made me a mommy. I tell him that even though it took the first 5 years of his precious life before I realized the complete joy and importance of being there for him, that choosing to be a stay-at-home mom was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I will always be very proud of my choice. Someday I'll tell him that even though his dad and I were unmarried and very young when we got pregnant with him(he knows that part) that I see that it was God's plan all along. Had we not gotten pregnant, who knows where My Sweetie and I would have ended up; who knows if I would have pursued a reporting job and where it would have taken me; who knows if I'd even be able to have children at a later age (especially with all the problems I'm having with getting pregnant). Yes, It was all part of the awesome story of my life; of our lives; written before we were even born. I can't wait to see what else God has in store for all of us!

1 comment:

merryjoy said...

You are so wonderful!!! I love reading your blogs...I swear I can actually hear your voice in it. You are a gifted writer!

Merry, again!