What a weekend! Halloween pictures will come later....but first I want to "vent" on some other happenings.
First the facts:
Saturday afternoon we were at a birthday party for our Goddaughter who is actually My Sweetie's cousins daughter. The house was packed with friends and family. There were a good number of kids there. During the second wave of gift opening, The Boy came up and got me asking me to come downstairs. He was there with another girl about his age, her dad and the the birthday girls daddy. The Boy explained that they accidentally blew out one of the candles that was lit in the basement so they thought they would relight the candle by catching a tissue on fire with the other candle that was lit in the basement and try to relight the candle that had been burnt out. As they were walking across the basement floor with a tissue on fire, the tissue started to fall apart and fell to the ground catching the floor on fire. The Boy was able to stomp it out before the other girls dad came running down the stairs after being informed by his youngest son of what had happened. The Daddy made him apologize to the other girl for getting her in trouble, to her parents and his cousin and her husband for what he had done to their carpet.
The Boy spent the rest of the day in his room. The Daddy didn't really lay down any other punishment and I just figured the guilt that he dealt with the whole day was the punishment The Daddy was going to see fit.
Today when I was using the restroom I sat down an"POP!!" It startled me at first. After some investigation I discovered a ketchup packet under the seat. When I sat down it exploded all over the toilet, my bare leg and the wall. (Are you done laughing yet....Sarah???!!! I think I can hear you!) I came out of the bathroom, shut off the TV, and asked who had done it. The Boy fessed up. I told him to go and clean the entire bathroom. When My Sweetie found out he charged into the bathroom and pretty much let The Boy have it. Needless to say, he's back in his room for the rest of the evening.
The ketchup incident was a little funny. Had he not tried to set someone's house on fire the day before he would have just cleaned up the mess and been done. But The Daddy was still fuming from yesterday and this just was the last straw.
First of all, I'm very proud of the way My Sweetie handled things at the birthday party. He didn't yell, but he let The Boy know how "dumb" of a choice he had made and how unhappy he was. Yes, he yelled today, but seriously, playing a prank when you're already in trouble???
The thing that worries this mommy heart are the impulsive words and actions that I hear and see in these melt down moments. Not just this weekend, but when he's stressed about school, frustrated with his brother or upset with the consequences of the choices he's made. I have let him know how serious it is when he says and does the these things and if this is truly how he feels, then we need to go and see a doctor. He usually tells me, "No that's not how I feel," or "I don't know why I did that." It basically comes down to him feeling sorry for himself and not knowing how to handle it or express it so he goes for the most extreme. God forbid anything horrible from ever happening in a brief moment of impulsiveness in the midst of one of these melt downs.
Diapers soooo are easy. Sleepless nights are easy. Heck, potty training is easy! These life lessons that they need to be productive, respectful individuals both now and in their adult years is hard. I feel so ill equipped for this season. Maybe it's because I was a young mom with him, maybe it's because he's the oldest and every season with him is the first for me, maybe it's because he's a boy, maybe it's because I'm afraid his actions and choices are a mirror on my parenting.
If I can teach my kids one thing it would be respect. Respect for others (both people and those things that belong to others) and respect for themselves. I didn't see any of that from The Boy this weekend.