Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Less than 24 hours

I woke up this morning thinking, "Tomorrow I'll test"

I'm scared to death! Scared of being crushed; scared of being disappointed; scared of not being able to function enough to take care of my family. So much in fact I almost DON'T want to test. I have pickles to can tomorrow....I can't get a negative and be sad about it!!!

Today I woke up and felt a little crampy. I feared AF might be on her way. I have THREE ZITS on my face. I NEVER break out only around AF time. Not the crampy feeling has turned into more of an overall achy feeling. Stress? Nerves? Who knows.

Last night I had ANOTHER dream. I took a test and the darn lines kept appearing and disappearing and I couldn't figure out whether or not I was actually pregnant or not!!! I kept asking My Sweetie, "do you see anything? what do YOU think?"

Yesterday when I was having my little "freak out" moment I found comfort and peace to get me through the day in my bible. Maybe I need to go do some more reading today!!! I haven't done my devotions yet.....maybe that will help.

I'm hoping to go down my "to do" list for the week and cross some things off. I've been so consumed with my "what if's" and "maybe's" that I've neglected the things that I should have been doing this week FOR OTHERS!!!!! Feeling very selfish!!!

L spent the night with his Gma last night and we took M out for Chinese and a movie last night. We both slept in until 8:30 this morning!!! It's a cloudy, rainy, cool day. Maybe we'll break out some board games before L comes home.

Thank you all for you sweet comments, prayers and support. But mostly for making me feel like there are people out there actually reading my ramblings with an open heart.

Blessings...

6 comments:

flygirl said...

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow morning....

Jane said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Courtney said...

Becky- I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you today. I would love to have someone right next to me on this journey!

I'm sending you lots of hugs. Please let us know the outcome when you can. Just remember, it's not over until the old hag shows up! Good luck!

Mississippi Girl said...

Praying for you this morning!!!
Jennifer R.

org junkie said...

Hello! I came over to say thanks for participating in Menu Plan Monday and saw your last post. I'll definitely be praying for you. What a stressful time of anticipation...hopefully you'll be able to keep your mind occuppied until tomorrow. God bless, Laura

mommygoingcrazy said...

I have been checking back all day. I am starting to get nervous for you. I will keep checking back and I hope that you post soon! Good luck I have been hoping the best for you all week!