Can you even imagine seeing faces who you think you should recognize but don't; having pieces of information running through your head that just doen't make sense; looking at the once familiar world around you and not recognizing it... so much that you wouldn't be able to just jump in your car and go somewhere because you wouldn't know where to go; not knowing that "one thing" you usually order at a certain restaurant...Can you imagine???
Well, this has been my littlest brother's life for the past week now. He tripped running up the stairs at home and fell down. Somewhere along the way he hit his head. No one really knows where or how. Dad was there just around the corner. The took him to the hospital, had a CAT scan (it was clear!) and were told he had a concussion. He was able to identify mom and dad but when he was asked who his siblings were, he was unable to come up with our names. Home they went figuring he'd wake up the next day just fine. Dad stayed home with him and realized as the day went on that my brother was suffering from memory loss. They went to see a neurologist and had an MRI (which was also clear!).
Basically there is no current explanation as to why my brother is suffering from amnesia other than the brain can do weird things sometimes. He's frustrated and scared and can get overwhelmed easily when they are out and about doing things. THANK GOD the CAT and MRI were clear and it wasn't something more serious. But how sad that he is going through this.
I had the chance to go visit him on Sunday. We basically just sat and watched a movie, watched Little Dude play and had dinner with mom and dad. We exchanged some small talk, but not much. As we were watching the movie I just told myself that he's my brother no matter what he can remember (which right now isn't much of anything) and that brought me a sense of comfort. I would take amnesia over a more serious head injury anyday.
After we left he told mom and dad that something seemed familiar about us and just assumed that I was his sister (we never did introductions.) He asked if the other two boys were mine too, which I think was him connecting the dots rather than remembering. Spending time with him made me feel better. He sounds the same, talks to the dog the same, and is healthy. He just has no memories of anything from before his fall. Some small, random things have been coming back to him. Nothing significant, but at least it's something and we are grasping hold of the hope that these small things are a begining. I think in time, he will heal completely.
I've definitely seen God working in all of this, especially looking in from the outside. It has warmed this sister heart to see all the messages from prayering friends on his Facebook page. The administrative folks at his school are being very sympathetic and helpful in the process of helping mom and dad figure out the best way to handle the end of this semester, which he obviously won't be able to finish. His neurologist is a good friend of one of my old high school friends. Although Dad doesn't know quite how to handle this, he has really enjoyed the time that the two of them have spent together lately; a charactistic that is very unlike my brother. I know that prayers are being answered and I know that he is being bathed in prayer from friends, family and strangers and I KNOW that he will be OK.
Tomorrow I'm going to be with him so that both mom and dad can go to work. I'm looking forward to just being with him and pray it will help him to feel more comfortable with me and maybe remember a little something more.