Even There...

"Even there your hand will lead me" 

Psalm 139:10

 I was heading home from my first MOPS meeting of the year.  This verse was rolling around in my head.  It was our theme verse for the year.  (Isn't it a GOOD one!!!)

It was a beautiful September Tuesday afternoon.  I kept peeking over my shoulder to see if Little Dude had fallen asleep yet.  It wasn't until we reached our little town that sits along the banks of the Mississippi river that his eyes began to get droopy.  I decided to drive around just a bit longer to make sure he was good and asleep before going home and carrying him in the house.  

As I was driving I had this nudging to "drive by the house" 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

Not my house.  But a house that My Sweetie and I had looked at back in April. 

We had looked at the house several times, taken our parents through and then just dropped the subject. 

We didn't need to move.  But for the past 3 year have been causally looking on and off at houses. 

While visiting with his barber (ehem, who just so happens to also be a realtor!  Small town livin' IS the best!), My Sweetie learned that seller was to desperate to sell.  We knew that they had re-listed the house with a new real estate agency (the same agency that the barber/realtor guy works for, of course.) and had significantly dropped the price since we had looked at it last.  We had driven out to the house Sunday after Church and our interest in this home was perking up a bit.  

"Even there your hand will lead me"

As I turned onto the long, narrow country road that leads to the housing addition that the house was in, I giggled thinking how funny it would be if My Sweetie just happened to have driven out there also.  Perhaps THAT'S why I had such a strong nudging to drive out to the house. 

As I approached the neighborhood I could see the back of the house.  I gasped just a moment and in my head said, "That is MY house!"

"Even there your hand will lead me"

I turned into the neighborhood and then my heart stopped. 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

The sign was GONE! 

The Realtor lock box was GONE!!!! 

My stomach sank and I was ANGRY!!! 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

I attempted to call My Sweetie but only got his voice mail so left a cheery, "HEY!!  How's it going." message. 

Two year ago there were two houses that we were interested in.  We were ready to put an offer in on one and someone else did it before we did and we didn't do anything about it.  We put an offer on a second home and shortly after 2 more people put an offer in our the same home.  Our offer was countered but we chose to keep our offer on the table as it was. 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

So you can imagine how frustrated I was to see a third house that we were interested in to no longer have a sign in front.  A THIRD closed door????  UGH!!! 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

When I got home My Sweetie was on the phone.  Which would explain why I had gotten his voice mail.  After he was off the phone I told him he needed to call the Realtor and see what was going on!!!! 

Apparently the seller had decided to unlist it briefly to refinance the home since the rates were so low and since no one had been interested.  He was preparing to use it as a rental when his contract expired with the real estate agency. 

My Sweetie just so happened to live next door to the guy who lived next door to the house that was for sale and called him.   

 "Even there your hand will lead me"

 He was able to get the sellers personal phone number.  They talked for quite awhile, My Sweetie told him he was interested in the house, and would like to work with him privately. The next day the seller called My Sweetie saying he was going to re-list the house and if we'd like to work with him privately he'd be willing to do so once his contract expired in November. 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

This sounded like a GREAT plan to us!  We had time to prep our current home and could really look hard and close at our finances and be prepared!!!! 

The weight had been lifted. 

I was free to plan BuhBuh's birthday and get back to enjoying life. 

Less than 48 hours after the perfect plan was in place the phone rang. 

It was the seller. 

He had received an offer. 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

OF COURSE he received an offer, because WEEEEE WERE INTERESTED!!!!!  ****sigh**** 

 "Even there your hand will lead me"

He told us if we were interested that he would wait for us to make an offer but we had to do it quickly.  Otherwise he was going to accept the offer that had been made.

"Even there your hand will lead me"

So here we were feeling rushed, overwhelmed and unprepared to make such a huge decision in just a few short hours. 

 "Even there your hand will lead me"

The realtor put together paper work for us and we met him at the house that evening.  We went over the paperwork carefully, asked questions and decided to walk through the house one more time.  Then came the time to sign the offer.   My Sweetie froze.   He was thinking and re-thinking and maybe even over-thinking a wee bit but I was not going to sign or tell him to sign a thing.  He needed to be the one to sign first and to take this first step.  He is and probably always will be the main provider for our family.  The financial burden rests solely on him.  I wanted the house.  Yes.  But I wanted a happy husband more.  I don't want him to feel like he's working to make a house payment.  That is not what he wants and it's not what I want for him or our family.   

He decided that he needed some more time; that he would sign it sometime the next day if the window was still open.  I assured him that it was OK.  

 "Even there your hand will lead me"

 

The realtor turned off the lights to the house, we walked outside and My Sweetie sat down on the front porch with the boys.  The realtor walked out, locked up the door and stood there for a moment.  He said good bye and started to leave.

Before he could leave, My Sweetie stopped him saying he'd sign the papers.  Back into the house we went, flipped on the lights and signed the papers.  

 "Even there your hand will lead me"

**deep breath**

When we were done My Sweetie asked if we could have some time and lock up when we left.  After the realtor left we went and sat in front of the fireplace (SQUEAL!!!) as a family and My Sweetie just took a deep breath and told the boys that this wasn't something that happened everyday and it was something he wanted them to remember.  We walked through the house one more time before driving away.

 "Even there your hand will lead me"

By 9 a.m. the next morning we had a verbal acceptance from the seller.  Then Monday morning the offer was officially signed. 

"Even there your hand will lead me"

We have been frantically packing, repairing, cleaning, getting appraised and getting finances in order.

  Today we officially closed a new house and this weekend we will move our children from the only home they have ever known into a new home.  

And despite the crazy that has taken over our house in addition to the normal crazy of the fall season I know that.....

"Even there your hand will lead me"

I know that people buy houses all the time.  I know that new home dreams are fulfilled for both people who have a relationship with Jesus and those who don't.  I know that new home dreams are crushed for both people who have a relationship with Jesus and those who don't.  Things either go your way or they don't.  

But I also know that often times people only cry out to God in their time of deep need and forget to give thanks for the blessings that God's hand has lead them too as well.  Believe me, I too have been guilty of this.

I know, with all my heart, that the only way things have turned out the way they have for our family has been by His hand leading us all along; leading us through the dozens of houses we've looked at, leading us though the heartbreak of house offers that didn't work out, leading us through blueprints possibilities for the house we are in now that didn't work out, leading us in ways that we may not have recognized, all so we could be right here with this blessing in our life.  

So I'm recognizing His hand and thanking Him for this blessing.  As we move forward with this move and with trying to sell our current home, I will trust that.

"Even there your hand will lead me"

My challenge to you...Look for the places in your life that God's hand has been leading YOU.  They may be big.  They may be small.  They may seem insignificant.  They may be in the middle of a valley.  His hand has been guiding you all along to this point, can you look back on something and see it now?  We can't appreciate all that God does for us, all the ways that His hand leads us if we don't look. 

Car Talk

Little Dude:  OOOHHH NOOOO!!!!!  LOOK!!!  LOOK!!!!  LOOK at 'dat tire!!!  It fell off!!!!!

**he said as we drove behind a jeep with the spare tire attached to the outside of the jeep***

A little further down the road....

Little Dude:  There's the tractor store!

Me:  Yep!  You're right!

Little Dude:  Daddy's been 'dere before.

Me:  He has?

Little Dude:  I been 'dere before too.

Me:  You have???

Little Dude:  Not BuhBuh, Not you.  Just us.

One of those days....

Morning snuggles and giggles with BuhBuh and Little Dude. 

My Sweetie making breakfast.  

Enough time before the bus to read two stories from our Children's Bible (which means more snuggling).  

Little Dude entertaining himself nicely so the Mommy could be productive.  

Pumpkin Farm visit.  

Bunnies. 

Goats.  

Chickens.  Cows.  Horses.  

Hay Bale Maze.  

 Apple Orchard.  Treats. Llamas, donkeys, more goats, more chickens, more cows.

First 100% on 2nd grade spelling test.  

Play outside.  

Leaves.  

Photo Ops.  

The Boy going to fall Dance and last home football game. 

Little Dude falling asleep early.  

Watching a movie with BuhBuh and My Sweetie (more snuggling).  

Bedtime conversation. 

BuhBuh: "This was a GREAT day!!!" 

Me:  "Why is that?" 

BuhBuh:  "Because I got an A on my spelling, you picked me up from the bus stop and I got to watch a movie all by myself with you and daddy." 

I'd have to agree.  

 

 It was a GREAT day!!

Faith of a Child

I lead the children's sermon in church on Sunday.  We talked about prayer.  When, where, how.  Basic stuff. 

I wanted the kids to have a fun way to practice praying at home; different then the way they might pray during dinner or at bedtime. 

I put together little bags of skittles with a card color coded with different ways they can pray for each colored skittle.  I told them that before they could eat a skittle they had to match it to the prayer, pray and THEN eat it. 

As we sat in the pews for the rest of the service I glanced over at BuhBuh.  He was kneeling on the ground, picking up skittles, reading the card, praying and then eating the skittles.  

I couldn't help but smile a proud mama smile.  

It was adorable.

The kids have been enjoying having all of the leftover skittles at home this week.  They have continued to make sure to match the color of the skittle up to the prayer and pray before eating them.

Little Dude asked for a skittle the other day.  

He chose yellow...his favorite color.  

I told him that he needed to pray and tell God he loved him.

He folded his little hands and said, "Dear God, I wuv you sooooo much.  Amen."  

It was precious.  It was sweet.

He threw his hands in the air and proudly declared,  "IIIIII DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!!!!" 

Then we high fived.  

I love teaching kids, especially my kids about God and Jesus and how loved they are by them.  I love to watch their eyes light up.  I love to see their faith in action.  I love that they get it, sometimes even better than I do.  There is something about the innocence of a child that helps them to see better than we adults do the love God has for us.  Sometimes I think they just might grasp the concept better than we do.  

What is it that happens as we get older??  

Why do we loose that child-like faith??  

Why does it get harder and harder to understand and get our heads around God's Grace and love for us.  

My eyes have seen the ugliness; my ears have heard the harsh words; my heart has been broken. 

There is so much sadness, so much tragedy and at times so little hope.  

Satan's work is easy when we allow the way of the world consume us. 

We allow Satan to harden our hearts.

No wonder it's hard to understand.

But then I hear The Boy recite word for word 1 Samuel 3:10 "Speak, for your servant is listening."as I am reading that story to BuhBuh in a different room and I get it.

I see BuhBuh show God's love to neighbors through a simple act and I get it.

I watch Little Dude lead dinner time prayers every night and I get it.

Then I read The Word.

"For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me."  

Matthew 18:2-5 (The Message) 

And I get it.

Make it Count

I live about 15-20 minutes away from a full grocery store.  So when I "go into town" to get groceries I really try to make my trips count!  

The other day I was short some ingredients needed for a potluck dish.  

Usually I would send My Sweetie a list and have him do it, but I really didn't have anything else going on and it was a beautiful day.  So, into the car we jumped and into town we drove.  

Little Dude found a cart "just his size" and it was THE BEST shopping trip ever!!! 

He was so adorable and good.  He pushed that cart around like a pro, making sure not to crash and following directions perfectly!  

Usually I push the big mommy sized cart and he helps by putting the groceries in the cart.  

But this day was different.  

He pushed and I put the groceries in the cart and he said, "You be my helper."  

**giggle**  

When we were all finished with our list he unloaded the entire cart so we could check out. 

I asked him if he would pay and he seemed confused, so I told him not to worry about it this time.

I was given the total.  

I opened my wallet.  

**GASP!!!**  

My one and only card that I use wasn't there!!!!!  

EEK!  

I had no cash.  

I had no check.  

I was embarrassed!  

UGH!  

I guess I wasn't going to be paying afterall. 

Little Dude was very confused as to WHY we weren't getting the groceries that had just shopped for.  

Poor Kid.  

So, despite my EXTREME frustration (at myself because I had left my card in the back pocket of a pair of pants) to make our trip into town count we stopped off at the park to play on our way home. 

Then sent The Daddy a text with the list so he could pick up the things we needed.  

Each day is such a gift from God.  Sometimes they don't go the way we had planed.  But when we don't make each moment count by making the best of the situation we are in, then we might just miss out on something precious that God had planned for us all along. 

If you were a detective....

....and you ran out of chalk on a crime scene WHAT WOULD YOU do????

Here's an idea.....

look around and create an outline with whatever you see laying around.  

Might I suggest blocks and trains???  

 When I walked into my living room and saw this I just started laughing!!!  

I'm not sure what made me laugh more.  

 The fact that Little Dude laid there allowing BuhBuh to do this.  

Or the fact that BuhBuh thought to do this.  

Silly boys!

Good Neighbor

Huffing and puffing up our hill on our way home from the homecoming parade, BuhBuh said, "Mom, we haven't taken anything over to the new neighbors house yet."

He was right.  In the craziness that consumes our lives we forgotten to properly welcome our new neighbor to the neighborhood.

"You know mom, we could take them one of the pumpkin pies you made today," he said.

I had two fresh made pies sitting on our kitchen counter.  We really didn't need two of them, I suppose.

"I could tell them, sorry this was late, and hand them the pie," he said.   

"And don't forget to welcome them to the neighborhood,"  I added.

After we conquered our hill my mind switched gears to the next thing; packing everyone up and heading to the schools to pick up The Boy who had just marched in the parade.

"Mom.  Should we wrap the pie up in foil?"  he asked as I guzzled down a gallon of water.

"Uh, SURE!!"  I had already forgotten about the talk of giving one of our pies to the new neighbor. 

We wrapped up the pie, practiced a couple of times what he would say and I sent him down the street.  

It wasn't long before he came skipping back clearly proud of the good deed he had done.

Homecoming

Last week was homecoming week for our school.  It's a fun week at all 3 schools.  Each school celebrates with Spirit Week with a different theme to each day.  BuhBuh participated.  (No pictures)  The Boy did not.  Kids look forward to the early dismissal from school on Friday so that everyone can head downtown for the parade.

 

It isn't quite as spectacular as I remember the homecoming parades from when I was younger were.  But it isn't lacking in spirit or in candy!

Since The Boy is in 8th Grade this year he got to march with the high school for band.  I could hear the sound of the drum several blocks away which is always so exciting to hear at a parade; it's when the excitement and anticipation kicks in.  It was even more exciting knowing that The Boy was one helping to set the beat of the parade.  In my excitement, I missed the photo opportunity.....this was the best that I could do.  He's on the far right.

As an 8th grader, The Boy also got to play with the high school during the pre-game out on the field.  They lined up motorcycles, the band and then the cheerleaders for the football players to run through at the opening of the game.  He said that was pretty cool to be a part of but got kind of tired of hitting his drum for the entire team.  HA!!!  Then just before the game the gave us a nice firework show.  

 

 

As I sat in the football stadium watching the group of high schoolers cheer from the stands (lookin all 80's)  on their team, the football players making touchdowns and the cheerleaders cheering, I realized that my senior homecoming was 16 years ago!!!  And then I realized that in a year it will be my son's first high school homecoming.  

Apple Orchard

I was away for a weekend in September.  Which just so happened to be the last weekend for picking apples.  So my family did what any apple pickin' lovin' family would do.  They went.  But at least My Sweetie made sure to capture the moments that I missed!!!

Car Talk

BuhBuh: Hey Mom! Will you make my bed? If you doooooo....I'll make dinnnnnerrrr.

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8 is GREAT!!!

 Here are some pictures from BuhBuh's birthday a few weeks ago!!!!  I can't believe he's 8.  

Birthday morning.  He woke me up around 5 wondering if it was time to open gifts.

Such a happy birthday boy

Our traditional Birthday morning breakfast.

He got to go on a field trip at school on his birthday!!!  HOW COOL!!!  AND I got to spend the entire day with him.  Bonus!

Sharing his Birthday treat at School

We celebrated again with grandmas, grandpas, aunties and cousins with a dinner that weekend.  

Car Talk

Me:  What do you want to be when you grow up?


BuhBuh:  A police officer.


Me:  Why?? 

BuhBuh:  Because the can drive a little over the speed limit, chase people and they have a dog....and a gun.....and a taser. 

Me:  **BIG SIGH and small smile**  How about YOU Little Dude?  

Little Dude:  A yellow car and a yellow house.

Dear Blog,

Don't think I don't love you.  Life is crazy. 

Life is very good.  But VERY crazy.  I have so many stories to share.  But they will have to wait until.....hmmmm????

Stay tuned.....

Sincerely,
Laundry Trenches Reporter

Birthday Letter

Dear BuhBuh,

Happy Birthday!!!!  A few days late....but I was having too much fun to write you a letter.

I hope you enjoyed waking up to the decorated house the morning of your birthday.  But did you HAVE to wake me up at 5 a.m.????  I know, you were excited.  It's really adorable.  I am glad that you enjoyed your new skate board.  It's been cute watching you "practice" in the living room.  You were not happy about me putting the rug back down because it took away your rolling space.

I had such a good day with you on Thursday going with you on a field trip.  You sat with me on the bus and held my hand and had no problem holding my hand while we walked around the county fair grounds.  Thank you sweet boy, that made my day.  We won't talk about how rough of an evening we had that night.  It broke my heart.  But I will always be more stubborn that you.  Don't forget.  OK???

We celebrated as always with a family dinner.  You asked for a "make your own" taco bar.  YUM!!!  Good call!!!  You also asked your Gma B to make her cherry meat balls, your Gma G to make deviled eggs and your GGma G to make cream puffs.  When I was going over the plans for the evening and telling you when we'd open presents, you very sweetly said, "That's only if I get presents mom.  I might not get any.  Maybe a card would be nice."  I loved that you weren't "expecting" anything.  BUT, you did get lots of good gifts.

As a 7 year old you played soccer, baseball and took two sessions of swimming lessons over the summer.  It is so much fun watching you play soccer.  You clearly understand the game.  During baseball you had the opportunity to play catcher a lot which you enjoyed.  You still haven't moved on to the next swimming level, but that's OK because I can tell you are getting really close!!!

You tend to make friends very easily.  Keeping up with YOUR social calendar some weeks makes me laugh but I'm glad that you are having fun with friends.  I fear that you are going to be one of those cool, popular kids.  I don't know if I'll know how to parent a cool, popular kid because that was NOT me in school!!!  You still crack us up with your wit and sense of humor.  I don't write as many of them down as I should. 

You love any one on one time that you get with mom and dad.  You are a great helper to us and to Gpa B when you want to be.  You and Little Dude are such good friends most of the time.  I love to watch you guys play and have fun with each other.  It makes me smile.  I hope the two of you can always be close.  You and The Boy have fewer good moments than I'd like.  But I am hopeful as you guys get older you too will be friends.

1st Grade was a little bit of a struggle.  You worked with both a speech teacher and the Title 1 teacher and did some other small group work.  It seems that working in a smaller group setting works better for you than in a large class setting.  Once you started in the Title 1 reading, it wasn't long until you came home saying "I LOVE READING!"  I was so happy to hear those words.  The teacher you have for that, also goes to our church, and I can understand why you like it so much.  You and I certainly have some hard times doing homework at night.  I really wish we didn't have to struggle like that, but we have to get the work done.  It's hard to come home and be tired and have to do more work when you just want to relax.  I know we will find our groove.  I know we will figure out what works best for you.  I know you will be just fine.

You are such a sweet blessing in my life.  I have enjoyed watching you grow.  But I wish that it didn't have to happen so fast.  Because I am wiser than I once was, I am soaking in the little moments that are precious.  Yes.  I do take a lot of pictures.  But I just don't want to forget.  Ever.  I even love the silly face pictures you make and the I love when you specifically ask for me to take your picture.  You were such a happy beginning to a new start in our life.  You are my daily reminder of just how big God's grace, love and forgiveness really is. 

I have a secret....I know you know it because I tell you the secret every night so I suppose it's not THAT much of a secret anymore, is it.  I LOVE YOU!  And, I have one more secret.  GOD LOVES YOU TOO!!!  OH!  I have ONE more secret.  Even though I love you soooo much, God loves YOU WAAAAY more than mommy or daddy or anyone else here ever could.  Don't forget OK.  And just to make sure, I will continue to remind you everyday before you go to school and every night before you go to bed.

8 is GREAT BuhBuh!!!!!  Let's have fun!!!!!  I can't wait to watch you grow and learn and love and play this next year.
I love you oooooddddles!!!  Happy Birthday!!
Mommy

*****I wrote this yesterday morning and decided not to post it.  Since then this man has decided not to follow through with what he said he was going to do, THANK GOD!!!  I posted a pretty "bold" statement on my facebook page today saying much of what this post says, so I decided to post it here afterall. ****

I'm sure you've heard.  On September 11th a man by the name of Terry Jones from Dove World's Church in Florida is planning to burn the Muslim Holy book, the Koran.

This has drawn a lot of media coverage, a lot of uproar with Christian leaders, in Washington and even in our Military.

I PRAY that people realize just how wrong this man is.

I PRAY that people who do not have a relationship with Jesus don't think that this man is in any way, shape or form a reflection of Christianity.

He.  Is.  Not.

He was asked in an ABC interview if he thought this was something Jesus would do.  His response?

"Absolutely"

He said Jesus was a radical; that Jesus wouldn't have necessarily gone around burning books but that he would have burned this one.

I agree with Terry Jones on one thing.

Jesus WAS a radical.

Jesus ate dinner with the despised Tax Collectors.  He spoke with and forgave the prostitutes and the adulterers.  He healed the lepers.  He didn't cast away the children.  He stood up to the religious leaders of the time who were not doing things the way God intended. 

But Jesus never would have demonstrated such an act of hatred toward any of God's children.

Ever.

This is something that has been stiring around in my head.  So I wanted more amo for this post so I did some googling.

The more I read and as I sat and watched a replay of the ABC interview online I found myself getting angrier and angrier.

Then I realized, if I keep getting angrier over this, then this man has just one upped me.

I walked away from the computer and heard, "You know the truth."


Being angry won't solve anything or make change anything.  But maybe my prayers can.


This man needs our prayers so that he can know the truth.  The congregation he leads need our prayers so they too can know the truth. 

Ephesians 5:1-2 says that we are to "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us"

Terry Jones is not imitating God and is not living a life of love.

1 John 4:7-12 says,  ⁷Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹²No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

How to Survive....

....A Little Dude Tantrum

Step 1....Patient

Step 2.....The ability to ignore the behavior

Step 3....More Patient

Step 4.....Roll down all windows, turn music up LOUD, find nearest country road, take the "long" way home

Step 5.....Breathe.....this one is over

Homework

I just got done helping The Boy gather up some pictures for a PowerPoint he is putting together for school.  ***when I was his age....I had to cut pictures out of magazines and paste them onto cardboard"  HAHAHAHA....I digress.....

The project is and ABC project about him....for every letter he comes up with a word that relates to him, a brief paragraph explaining why he chose that word and he has to have a corresponding photo or graphic.

We get to the letter "E"

He tells me the word is evil and he'd like a picture of BuhBuh for his PowerPoint.

I read his paragraph at it says:

"E is for evil.  My younger brother BuhBuh practically defines evil.  He will do absolutely anything to annoy me such as when I start heading to the bathroom he runs straight in, locks the door and takes his famous half hour craps"

The Daddy and I quickly veto him from using a picture of BuhBuh with the title "E is for Evil" and the above paragraph from his project.  

We proceed down the line of letters, looking for pictures and after finishing a picture of H he tells me what he needs for J.  

I asked what happened to I.

He laughs....

I ask him what word he chose for I.

He says "intelligent" and we both laugh.

He's contemplating changing that one too.

Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on a chair by the doorpost of the LORD's temple. In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."  As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth.  Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD.  Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief."
  Eli answered, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him."
 1She said, "May your servant find favor in your eyes." Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
  Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her.  So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him."

Hannah Dedicates Samuel

 When the man Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the LORD and to fulfill his vow, Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, "After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the LORD, and he will live there always."  word." So the woman stayed at home and nursed her son until she had weaned him.After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a three-year-old bull,  an ephah of flour and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh.  I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there. "Do what seems best to you," Elkanah her husband told her. "Stay here until you have weaned him; only may the LORD make good his When they had slaughtered the bull, they brought the boy to Eli, and she said to him, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD.   

1 Samuel 1:9-28

I read excerpts of this passage at Little Dude's baptisim.  It seemed fitting for as hard as it was for us to concieve him.  When we were in the hospital to deliver we had foud names....2 girl names and 2 boy names.  AS they showed me my baby boy My Sweetie asked "What are we going to name him?"  Without hesitation, I blurted out the name that had been on my heart for years prior.  As we arrived home with our newest little bundle, we found a card in the mailbox; a congratulations card with a scripture. 

"For this child, I prayed"  1 Samuel 1:20

His name was perfect.

Today I was drawn back to this passage that I read for Little Dude's baptism. Now, while Little Dude has indeed had his haircut and I am not handing him over to my Pastor, when we baptized him I WAS dedicating him to God for his whole life.

Today as I dropped off a very excited 3-year old for his first day of preschool,

I wondered how much it hurt Hannah to do what she did.  I wondered if she was sad.  I wondered if she cried.  I wondered just how quiet her home felt when she returned.  

The scripture doesn't say anything about her sadness, but as a mom I would only assume that her heart was hurting a little.  

1 Samuel 2:1 titled Hannah's Prayer does say,

  "The Lord has filled my heart with joy; how happy I am because of what He has done!"

Rather than wallowing in what she was loosing, she worshiped and rejoiced because of what God had given her.

This precious baby of mine isn't really mine afterall.  

He is a child of God.  

I thank God for the opportunity to have been entrusted to raise another one of HIS children. 

Little Dude has been given to me as a gift to love, care for, teach and help to grow.  

But it's in his Heavenly Father's hands that he is truly being held.  

Not mine.

"As long as he lives he will belong to the Lord"  

1 Samuel 1:28